Sabina: “My parents come often”

Sabine honestly admits that she does not like confrontations and is afraid of arguments. “I don’t want this to become a big thing. But ever since our son arrived, my parents have been coming to visit us when they wouldn’t. I think it’s too muchWell, for me it doesn’t have to be that way. But how can I bring this up without hurting their feelings?”

Most important things first: Talk to your partner about this matter, as advised by your therapist and postpartum specialist Tilda Klompenaar: “Ask him how he sees it and see if you’re on the same page. If necessary, find a compromise and agree together about a frequency that you both find acceptable.”

“Of course it’s difficult to discuss this with your father-in-law after that. The fear of not being liked is ingrained in many people, especially with family, where saying something is more complicated. You don’t want to be like that.” “They are disrespectful and the bonds are often strong: they are still your mother-in-law. Moreover, in this case they have no malicious intentions, they are just passionate about their grandson.”

But despite the good intentions of others, it’s still wise to point out your limits, Klompenaar says. “If you’ve had a bad night, it makes sense that you wouldn’t immediately feel like visiting. not today, that’s good. “You can always choose to sit on the couch with your family.”

“Communicate the message politely but clearly to your in-laws: ‘We think it’s great that you’re so crazy about our son, but we’d like you to feel free to say no if it’s not okay for us.’” If you don’t set boundaries, it will always be at your expense, not yours. others.”

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