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Amsterdam – Internal research by the Netherlands Institute of Psychologists (NIP) shows that more and more psychologists are bothered by the lack of reciprocity in conversations with clients. The professional association states that many psychologists do not feel that the person sitting on the other side of the table is seen or heard, which can complicate an otherwise pleasant working relationship between the two.
“My clients often seem to completely forget that I’m still there,” says psychologist Marteje Grunders, 42. “I’ve had a client suddenly stand still after a conversation that lasted more than twenty minutes, look at me with glasses and assume that I’m going to ask another question right away. Then I think: Come on man, at least ask me one question in return. Does it really have to be about you all the time? I also had a lot of fun things to do over the weekend that I could share.”
Psychologist Bram Werhock (33) also finds it annoying that his clients constantly feel like they are the center of the universe: “In a normal social context with two people, there is a dialogue in which information is exchanged. Unfortunately, nothing like that happens in my interview room. It’s always one-way traffic. I just listen to clients who are completely exhausted. Sometimes it feels like I’m not allowed to be there. That thought makes me very sad.”
Although Werhoek admits he is paid to play the role of a listener, he still feels his clients should be more attentive: “Anyone who buys a loaf of bread at the bakery has a back-and-forth conversation about it. Why can’t my clients do that? It’s sad to say, but I suspect that almost all of my clients have narcissistic personality disorder. But yeah, they didn’t give me the space to tell them that.”
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