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Suddenly you notice: your father and/or mother are already old! The house is less clean, cooking every day is a problem, and during conversations he and/or his half often runs away. You think it's really time to use that hearing aid or that daily meal service. But yeah, how do you address that?

No matter how hard it is, at a certain point, you simply can't ignore it anymore. Then, it's time to discuss emotional topics such as aid, but also funeral wishes, powers of attorney and wills, with your parent(s). Sit together without pushing and with these tips.

Less care

Things have been going well with your father and/or mother for years. When I came to visit, there was something delicious about the house, and the house was comfortable and clean, just like them. But the last few times it's been different. Your mother seemed less caring; When was the last time you went to the hairdresser? Your father says he no longer feels like cooking for himself every day. It's a lot of hassle, and the sandwich is good too. You start off cautiously talking about meal service like table setting, in-home hairdresser, or home care, but in reality you already know their reaction.

Understand fear

Well, aging not only comes with flaws, but also stubbornness, it seems! However, you definitely don't want to avoid topics like an alarm button, a stair lift, or new glasses or hearing aids. They are the tools that make life more fun. Solutions that allow them to continue living independently for a longer period and provide you with the necessary rest and sleep. But how do you get your parents to accept this help?

It all starts with understanding the basic fear: the fear of growing old. Older people often fear becoming a burden or losing their independence. The idea of ​​needing help with everyday tasks is also confrontational. Unfortunately, something often goes wrong before you realize that help is needed. It's good to be ahead of that!

Ways to have this conversation together

1. Start on time
   A calm conversation about aid (resources) is often better when the help is not really needed yet. During a visit or dinner, ask questions like: “Mom, where do you see yourself growing up?” Or: “Dad, how about you help with the housework so you can continue to live at home?” But also emotionally charged topics like: “Do you want to be buried or cremated later?” Or: “Have you already officially registered your will?” It works best in a comfortable environment. Next, write down what was discussed. This way you can access it again later if necessary.

2. Go deeper
If your parents resist or won't accept help, it often has to do with fear. Ask questions to understand that resistance. Are they afraid of the costs or of strangers in their home? Perhaps there is a fear of losing their independence. Start the conversation openly, discuss issues and accept their concerns. Sometimes they don't realize that they are rejecting everything. Ask questions like: 'Mom, I noticed that you keep rejecting all my suggestions for help. Why is this?' Only when you really understand the matter can you look for a solution.

My job: Helping with…

New glasses

Do you notice that your father or mother's vision is getting worse, have sore eyes, or that their current glasses are already worn out? Make an appointment with an eye specialist or ask about at-home eye exam options. Useful if your parents are unable to leave home. Are you afraid you need more than one new lens? You can also often go to an eye specialist for an eye health examination. After an extensive interview, photographs and measurements, the ophthalmologist evaluates the health of the eyes. For example, are there cataracts or high intraocular pressure? So (usually) you do not have to visit an eye doctor for this.

➜ Reimbursement for new glasses can only be paid for with additional health insurance. The amount varies according to the health insurance policy. Also note that some insurance companies have contracts with specific opticians.

Hearing

Do you notice that your parents turn on the TV too loudly or that one of them no longer really participates in the conversation during Christmas? There is a high possibility that your hearing aid (device) is no longer what it was. To make sure, schedule a hearing test with your hearing care professional or arrange for a hearing care professional to come to your home. Hearing complaints are divided into 5 categories: 1 being the simplest and 5 being the most complex. Hearing aids also have 5 categories. Your hearing care professional discusses the results in detail and places the hearing aid in the correct category. They take the lifestyle and needs of your parent(s) into account. Fortunately, hearing aids today are much more than just an ugly banana behind the ear. You hardly see them! There is also often the opportunity to try out different devices (for free). This gives you peace of mind.

➜ Compensation Every insured person who suffers from hearing loss (at least 35 dB) is eligible for hearing aid compensation. Basic insurance pays 75% of the purchase price. Reimbursement applies to a device of its own category. Also check if the hearing care professional performing the hearing test is contracted with the health insurance company.

Text: Sabina Blaise

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