Why do we often think negatively of ourselves? † Stories behind the news

How do doubts arise?

In today’s society, there is a lot that is possible, but this also has a downside. The pressure to be able and have to do everything is very high. Miyi: “People are under a lot of pressure right now. That’s why you see a lot these days Burnt phenomena. There is a lot of possible, but if something doesn’t work, we often tend to frustrate ourselves. Women in particular suffer from this.”

But where does this come from? “No matter how liberated we are; men and women still grow up differently. Women should be kind, gentle and patient and men should be tough and tough. Hormones play a role too. Testosterone ensures you have more courage and self-confidence, and men have more hormone There is more testosterone in their bodies than women. And this has also been scientifically proven. People in transition feel more self-confidence through the addition of testosterone. As a result, they are less likely to doubt themselves, which means negative thoughts are often absent.”

Where do negative thoughts come from?

According to Meiwe, there is no unequivocal answer to this. If you regularly suffer from negative thoughts, this could have several causes. However, it is almost certain that many uncertainties will arise in childhood. “It doesn’t necessarily mean that you had to experience something very intense. I have women in my clinic who had a good childhood, but still feel inferior. Oftentimes the origin can really be in a small event. Our fear system kicks in very quickly when it is triggered.” .

“As humans, just like mammals, we are designed to survive. Fear is essential to this. We have an internal fear system that reacts to danger. We are used to using that quite literally. If we see a dangerous predator, we know we have to pay attention. Situations, we no longer need the fear system, but it’s still very active. Just when we think we should be afraid of something, our fear system starts. In the reality we live in now, it’s not helpful at all. That’s why we spend a lot of time over thinking We live in the past and the future more than the present. All these negative thoughts are simply too wrong and unnecessary. Nine times out of ten I don’t worry about anything. Unfortunately, our bodies are primed to focus more on the negative than the positive.”

Can you hack these negative thoughts?

If you want to penetrate negative thoughts, it is important to be aware of the built-in defense mechanism. “You can get into a whirlwind of thoughts. If there is a particular trigger that makes you anxious or compressed You feel it in your body. Your head is instantly bombarded at length. A perfect example is when you receive an email from your boss saying, “Do you have a few minutes for me?” inside no time Is your head full of negative thoughts: Oh my God, did I do something wrong? Last week I was also called to the carpet. am I missing something? I’ll be fired in a minute. “

“It is important to be aware of this rationale. Negative stimuli and thoughts will always be present, but you can choose not to align with them. Know that your inner critic is speaking. Try to look at it from afar and calm that little voice in your head: “Okay, y’all.” Old whiner, I don’t need you for a while.”

According to Mewe, it can also help to replace the critic with a friendly voice. “When your friend calls you in a panic after a job interview, you are likely to be less harsh on them than yourself. Try to be more compassionate with yourself. In practice, it can be seen that the critical voice appears less when people consciously generate a friendly voice. In In the end, this will make the critic’s voice less and less.”

Another practical tip: Paying attention to your posture can also increase your confidence and self-esteem. “Research has shown that the strong pose, chin forward and chest outward, creates a stronger sense of self-confidence compared to the immersion pose,” said Mewe.

Should you always try to suppress negative thoughts?

Negative thoughts are annoying, but it’s also important to realize that they are part of life. Thoughts affect your feelings and your feelings affect your behavior. The moment you try to penetrate negative thoughts, they also have a direct impact on your feelings. it’s not quick fix† You will have to exercise a lot, and every now and then you can have those negative thoughts and feelings. The moment you silence all negativity from your life, there will be less room for absolute happiness. Without deep valleys, there are no high peaks either.”

Also listen to files Podcasting is how you do it† In this episode, Marek Hart and Sabine Linhouts discuss their concerns. Together with psychiatrist Esther van Fenema, they discover how best to overcome fears, and ex-military Sander Aarts explains how to handle fear in the most extreme situations.